Tuesday, September 4, 2007

My review of Presidential Candidates for Red Sox Nation

It already sucks that my first and top choice for Presidency is out of the running... But hey, you can't win 'em all. So I'll go on with the rest of the candidates. Here are 3 lists broken up by people I don't like, people I like, and people I'm on the fence about.

Vote Here!!!

Here are the folks I don't like

1) Mike Barnicle » - Fitchburg, MA - I love this guys name (+1), I hate Fitchburg (-1), his answers were funny (+1), funny strong leadership (-1). Score: 0. If he would change his name to Barnacle Bill for the Nation, I would vote for him.
Sorry dude.

2) Annie Bresnahan » - New Hampshire - I followed you up until the whole "pink hat" rant. Honestly, lamest argument ever. If someone wants to wear a pink hat, who are you to say anything? Sorry, but what we certainly don't need is the Nu-Nazi Regime running things around here.

3) Cindy Brown » - Boston, MA - zzzzz

4) Greg Caliri » - Haverhill, MA - 1 word. DUMB. 1 more word. under-informed.

Quote: "The Red Sox Nation concept as a registered-member organization is fine, but its growth is restricted by the limits of the Boston market and through Internet advertising. I'd like to see it expand beyond the 'net and beyond New England. Putting together a team of individuals on the ground, here in the United States and around the world, could entrench the Red Sox not just as America's baseball team, but the "team of the world."

Dude, Red Sox Nation is World wide. Try again when you know what you're talking about.

William French » - New York - Wait, this dude hangs at the same country club as Joe Torre? If thats true, and all he did was yell some retarded GB deficit, this is not the man (boy? he's 18) who I want as Commander in Chief of RSN. You could have at least pissed in his shoes in the locker room, slacker. Oh, and nothing against a country club, but something tells me that one isn't going to fly with the "Bleacher Creatures" and the boys from Southie. This kid wins my vote for "person I'd most like to punch in the face". Congrats.

6) Frank Galasso » - Rhode Island - I'm into the charity ideas, but lets be honest, what kid is going to want to hang out with a senior citizen (who isn't their grandparent?). I think your idea to ditch inter league play is crazy. Don't you think that OTHER PEOPLE WHO BELONG TO RED SOX NATION, OR OTHER RED SOX FANS, OR OTHER PEOPLE WHO LIKE WATCHING THEIR TEAMS PLAY THE RED SOX would lose out? I also do not agree with the "Mandatory MINIMUM spent" rule you are suggesting. This would also mean there would be a cap. Just because you spend a certain amount of money, doesn't mean you are going to be competitive. Remember all those years the Sox weren't competitive? Remember how much the Yankees spent this year to lose? You are full of terrible ideas. Heres a good idea, eat barbed wire and Rot.

7) Peter Gammons » - Groton, MA - Like him up until answer #9. Nuf' 'Ced.

8) Doris Kearns Goodwin » - Concord, MA - Slight admission to being a fair weather fan. As much as I would like to cave in the skulls of both Bucky Dent and Billy Buckner, we can not deny or bury our past. Red Sox pride means pride, no matter what.

9) Jon Meterparel » - Brighton, MA - This dude, I dunno if he's joking or not. Red Jerseys are Alt colors... who cares, they don't wear them all the time. Day games kinda suck. Whats our record on day games? Probably not too good. Who cares what Selig looks like? Dude, in some parts of the country it snows in April. Get over it. Sometimes the sun shines, sometimes it doesn't. Should we cancel all games with too much sun?

the good

1) Cheryl Boyd » - Holliston, MA - Her answer to #2 says it all.

2) Luis Cosenza » - Pennsylvania - My #1 choice. Charity tickets all the way.

3) Rob Crawford » - Brookline, MA - Writes songs about RSN. Cool enough for me.

4) Rich Garces » - New Hampshire - Former fat Sox pitcher. Still fat, still awesome.

5) Sam Horn » - Rhode Island - Probably the most qualified for the job.

6) Patrick Kennedy » - Vermont - Love the foreign and domestic policies. Great approach at leadership. Will vote.

7) Steve Manganello » - Maine - Good points and ideas about expanding the Nation.

8) Lorraine Murawski » - Sturbridge, MA - I'm with you on all issues. The only thing I disagree on is Eric Gange. That fucker cost us a few games. I hope he proves me wrong, but until then, fugg em.

9) Jerry Remy » - Fall River - Played for the Sox for 7 years, author (of Red Sox books) , announcer and owner of "The Remy Report". Dudes cool, I'm a follower.

10) Masahiko Takinami » - Japan - Definitely into the idea of games being played in Japan. The talent we've seen come out of the country is staggering, and I think this would only increase interest and cause other players to take the game a bit more seriously.

on the fence

1) Terri Cronin » - Boston, MA - Good on steroid policy, bad on dress code.

2) Robert Feiner » - Texas - I dunno, good ideas, talks too much. Whittle it down a bit homey.

3) Jared Carrabis » - Saugus, MA - I agree with the instant replay rule. I think coaches should have some available during the game to avoid bad calls/ejections. While I agree with retiring Tony Conigliaro's number, I think there is another number you should be worrying about... your GPA. Good luck in school.

4) Hank Larsen » - Oklahoma - A little too structured for me. Lets keep this fun, right?

5) Rick Swanson » - Connecticut - Way into the idea of the Red Sox museum. Not sure what it has to do with RSN, but ok, whatever. Plus in his picture he looks a little bit like Larry David, so thats cool, but I don't know if I could take him seriously.

6) Antonio Rodriguez Morales »- Puerto Rico - Would be good to see RSN branch out far and wide. I think having a President who lives in a foreign country could be both good and bad.

In closing, a Red Sox Nation sing-along for the boys and girls...

I’m a member of Red Sox Nation, it’s a kind of a family
Wherever I roam, my Fenway home, that’s where I long to be
I’m a member of Red Sox Nation, it’s a kind of insanity
Yeah, I’ll live and die, with Red Sox pride, for eternity

I fake a smile, November until Opening Day
Suffering baseball withdrawal around the clock
When April comes, hey, meet me down on Yawkey Way
That’s when Red Sox Nation starts to rock

I sleepwalk through the days when there’s a West Coast swing
Married to the TV and the radio
For tickets in October I’d give anything
Still payin’ Red Sox debts from long ago

My mama told me bedtime tales ’bout number nine
My daddy taught me how Yastrzemski tracked down flies
Dirty Water, Tessie, and Sweet Caroline
Now I sing them to my kids as lullabies.

And the Dog: Big Pupi » - Check him out at www.bigpupi.com

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