Saturday, July 18, 2009

Good Enough (?)

I'm sure at some point in everyone's existence, they sit back and think about their lives... "What am I doing?", "where am I going?", "what have I done with my life?", "Am I making a difference in anyone's lives?", etc etc. It's probably natural, its like an assessment of self worth. Probably for most people my age its "Did I make the right choice in college?", "Did I marry the right person?", "Do I really like what I'm doing for work?", and so on.

For me right now, it's "What am I good at?". Sounds like something that would be easy to answer. Like, everyone has to be good at something right? Fishing or working or painting or whatever. I don't really think I'm particularly good at any one thing. I can't play sports. I can't draw. I can't really play an instrument (fake big). I sucked at school (which really sucks, because I def want to try out this whole "higher education" thing, but I'm nervous about it)

I guess I was good at fighting at one point, but really, what does that amount to? Bloody clothing and hefty lawyer fees. I didn't care enough to train and take it to a professional level, and I liked hitting people in the head with inanimate objects a little too much, which professional fighting circuits probably really frown upon.

I'm also really good at sleeping. That's gotta count somewhere. Probably to someone with insomnia I'd reckon.

Ok, so here's where I'm at in my assessment: I don't really love my job. I wish I went to college. I wish I was closer with my family. I wish I had a hobby.

Let's see if I can work on any one of those things. I'm sure I could fix at least 1/4 of them.

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