never go outside: September 2009

Saturday, September 12, 2009

I used to think it was just a silly song...

It really does make sense now.

A small part of me is saying I still have a chance
The rest of me is laughing at the first part
For being so naive
I don't know what to do but
I wanna tell you something...
I wanna tell you something
I'm a fuck up now
I don't know what I'm doing
I let my guard down once
My whole life is ruined
I try to give it up
I try to think it through
I saw you just last night
Couldn't even talk to you
If I could treat you like shit then you'd love me forever
At least I'm working now
This is my second day
I hate it so much here
I do it anyway
It doesn't help at all
what you've done to me
I'm going crazy
I think about you constantly
If I could treat you like shit then you'd love me forever.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I'm just a little bit tired, that's all

I'm approaching the 48 hour mark. I don't sleep so well when you're not by my side. I am tired, tired beyond tired. I just can't bring myself to do it though.

This isn't me.

This is me with you.

This, sadly, is me without you.

I am forcing my eyelids closed. Every time the crickets sing, I pretend its you calling and my eyes are wide again. I know its a stretch, but at this time of night its just me, my thoughts, and these loyally deceitful insects.

If I ever do fall asleep, I want to dream of you.

If I never sleep again, it was all worth it.

Come home soon.